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‘The dog ate my homework’ just won’t do any more

CareerBuilder.com just published its annual survey on employee absenteeism.
Turns out some 33 percent of workers have phoned in sick when they really weren’t.
The nationwide survey included more than 6,800 workers and 3,300 employers.
The most common reason for playing hooky? The worker just didn’t feel like going to work that day (34 percent). Another 30 percent wanted to relax. And 27 percent called in so they could go to a doctor’s appointment. Nine percent called in sick to avoid a meeting or to get more time on a deadline.
Goofing off like this has a price. A good 31 percent of the employers surveyed followed up, with 71 percent requiring a doctor’s note. And if you say you’re sick, at least sound sick. Fifty-six percent of the employers in the survey called the employee at home. Others were sneakier: 18 percent had another worker call the employee, and 17 percent drove by the employee’s house or apartment.
Careerbuilder.com also included in its survey some of the oddest excuses given by employees for missing work. Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard these in your office:
• The employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
• The employee hit a turkey while riding a bike. (Maybe it was close to Thanksgiving).
• The employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now.” He’s not dead yet, in other words.
• The employee donated too much blood.
• The employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion. No mention of the well-being other members of the family.
• The employee was kicked by a deer.
• The employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party. He also helpfully suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
• The employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
• The employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work. Takes casual day to a whole new level…
• The employee hurt his toe when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
• The employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
• The employee’s psychic told her to stay home. At least the psychic will know when the office will call to check up on her.

By Paul Fletcher

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