Publisher's Notebook

Twitter allows you to share your life, 140 characters at a time. If you haven’t joined the social media service yet, take heart that there are tweeters on there who are waay behind you.

BuzzFeed, which calls itself the purveyor of “the hottest, most social content on the web,” has compiled a wickedly funny list of “The Top 10 Most Unforgivable Twitter Spelling Mistakes.”

Needless to say, some tweeters need to fight their auto-correct function or at least to proofread before posting. Or if this is how they really spell, maybe you’re not missing much by avoiding Twitter.

There are folks who call on angles for divine help and those who rail against the bad manors of others or against hippocrates (posers, not the Greek guy). Some high school tweeters can’t wait to go to collage. There is at least one entry I won’t repeat in a family blog.

And items #2 and #1 are guaranteed to give you a laugh you’ll want to share with others all day long. This stuff just writes itself.

Confession: I’m a sucker for puns and wordplay. A colleague sent me one of those lists that periodically makes the rounds on the Internet…jokes that are so bad they’re good.

My wife and I visited our son at college this weekend and he had one:

How can you tell the train has been through here?
You can see its tracks.

Clearly the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree. Enjoy the list:

Writing with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

A dentist and a manicurist got married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don’t pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can’t budge it.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center . . . you’ve seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.

When a clock is hungry . . . it goes back four seconds.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she’d dye.

I couldn’t find the source of this list when I tried to research it, but I did find that on Twitter, the hashtag “#punny” will turn up more of the same.

Example: If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Random tweets from Twitter, collected during the past week:

Notes on domestic relations, from @qwertying:
I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

Deep thoughts, provided by @rolldiggity:
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.

Helpful hints, not from @heloise, but from @ablanchard519:
Dropped ipod in the sink last night, so i dried it off and thought it was toast. Put it in a bag of rice overnight and the thing works fine!

Technology updates, courtesy of @rfelty:
Leaf blower finally gave out. Picking up a new model. Think they’ve improved in 5 yrs. This one is also a WiFi hotspot.

And a fair-warning tweet to pull out on a no-good, very bad day, from @PubChick:
Today’s bad mood was brought to you by the letters F & U.

Larry Bodine, a well-known and well-respected law firm consultant, doesn’t like Twitter. He recently kicked up a storm on the Internet, essentially arguing that the social media outlet has little value for law firms.

He was in Richmond earlier this week, talking to the Virginias Legal Marketing Association. I didn’t go, but all my sales staff did and I got a report: Larry remains unconvinced about the service.

Twitter, Bodine said, is like the Macarena (the arm-folding, bouncing dance craze of 1996, for those who somehow have forgotten). Here today, popular today, likely to pass.

I must admit I tweet (@paulfletcher, if you want to follow me), but not all too often.

I logged on today and there was a comment defending Twitter: “Twittering is like hugging. Just because it’s hard to measure the return on investment doesn’t mean there isn’t value there.”

Hmm. Okay, so Larry won that round.