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Food fight

Free stuff, especially free food, is always good.

But when they’re passing out freebies, you follow the same rules you learned in kindergarten: Wait patiently for your turn. Don’t cut in line. Say “Thank you.”

Except at a Costco in Greenville, South Carolina, where a couple of guys, ages 70 and 72, got into it late last month, according to The Associated Press.

Free stuff, part 1: Costco was giving away pieces of cheese. 72 cut in line ahead of 70.

Free stuff, part 2 (and here’s where the trouble occurred): 70 was waiting for a cheeseburger sample. Go to Costco at the right time and you won’t need lunch.

72 cuts in line. Again. Apparently he forgot any manners his mama might have taught him.

Harsh words, ending with 72 smacking 70 and knocking his hat and glasses off. 72 claimed he thought 70 was about to hit him. A fourth kindergarten precept – don’t push people – apparently got lost in this incident.

The cops were called and a report was filed. Not mentioned was whether 70 ever got his burger.

No charges yet from the authorities, but Costco has all the action on a surveillance tape, which the cops are reviewing.

What would be the most appropriate punishment? Take away 72’s Costco free-stuff privileges.

That would hit him where he lives.